I guess I run now

I’m hanging up my hiking boots. Okay, not really, but what I’m about to say is just as outlandish: I run now. Am I “good” at it? No. Am I “fast”? Absolutely not. Do I have great form? No idea, but most likely, no. But, as with many things I enjoy trying or dabbling in, I’m up for the challenge and for just about anything that gets me outside more often. Even if it does feel like I’m running on the surface of the sun in the Texas summer heat.

The last 2 years have brought on a lot of change. I no longer work for REI and am back in the corporate world and working from home. Our daughter is no longer homeschooled and is thriving where she’s at (thank goodness). While these are positive changes and I’m very fortunate to work from home, I have found it really difficult to get outside on a consistent basis with a 9-5 schedule.

A few months into starting to work from home, I noticed I was missing being part of a community and seeing people other than my roommates (1 spouse, 2 kids, 1 dog). I joined a local gym and quickly fell in love with group functional fitness classes and I’ve stuck with it for just over a year now. While hitting the gym has brought me back into a community and has gotten me more physically active, I was still missing time outside. Enter the vast world of running.

I dipped my toe into the running world on and off several times over the last 5 years or so. Each time, quitting about 2 weeks in, and swearing I would never run by choice. After joining the gym, I wasn’t exactly thrilled to find that I’d sometimes have to run in a workout and would, at times, intentionally skip days that had running programmed (sorry, not sorry). Over time, however, I decided I couldn’t skip out on it anymore. As someone who still aspires to bag some 14ers, and continue backpacking and hiking into my golden years, I figured running could only help work towards those goals and I caved.

Lucky for me, I have some friends that love to run. Some in the city, some on trails, and some on both. I was spontaneously invited to join a friend for a trail race in OK and ended up deciding to enter myself. Kicking myself at first because I signed up to run 6 miles with no training, no recent experience, and never having run on a trail. Although my friend was signed up to complete a longer distance race at a different heat time, minutes before I was meant to start, she asked the race leaders if she could run with me instead. I think I could have finished on my own, but I won’t downplay how great it was to run with her and not have to go out on my own. We shared some laughs, saw some beautiful views, and I made it to the end of the 6 mile loop without dying or shattering my legs. Who would’ve thought?! Not me! From there my interest was piqued. I thought if I could do that without having run in months, what could I potentially achieve if I really gave it a go?

I started to run solo 2-3 times a week to establish a base before building up to more mileage and to be honest, I still kinda hated it. I went to a social run on a Sunday morning thinking I could probably run a little further in a group but everyone that morning was committing to running 6+ miles and all I could think was “I just want to complete 2 without stopping”. So I ran my two miles solo and drove home. Oh, and I still hated it.

It wasn’t until I started to run with a gym buddy that I realized a few things: 1. I didn’t have to go out on every run and PR or beat my previous time running the same distance. 2. I could run at a conversational pace, simply meaning I should be able to talk the whole time and not gasp for air while clutching my sides (which I was doing on every run prior). 3. Walking is okay. In fact, more than okay. While my goal is to eventually be able to run without thinking about it and potentially even reach that elusive “runners high” or state of dare I say, bliss, I could get there by breaking up the run with some walking too.

Very much to my surprise, my first run with a buddy, I ran 4 miles without stopping. Four! I tried to play it cool afterwards but on the inside, I was squealing and jumping and and down. As soon as I got home, I excitedly told my husband that I, Jen, self-professed hater of all things involving running, had run four whole miles and I even kinda liked it. I’ve since continued to run 3-5 miles every weekend on Saturday or Sunday (sometimes both) and it feels incrementally easier and more enjoyable each and every time. I’ve even succeeded in running 3-4 miles alone which I never would have pushed myself to do before. There are still moments where I want to quit and drive home but when the moment passes, I feel proud for not giving up on myself and doubting my capability. Most of all, it feels great to be outside this often again.

The relationship I have with running now is still very new. We’re taking it slow and getting to know each other a little better. While I am signed up for some races to motivate myself to continue to run consistently, I don’t want to overcommit and have our on and off again relationship end in tears, pain, and heartbreak as it has many times before. So for now, I won’t put a label on what we have and I’ll continue to enjoy this honeymoon phase where every mile run feels like a small, but significant victory.

If you’re someone reading this and are considering trying something new (anything new), I encourage you to stay curious and go for it. Also, if you can, go with a friend. It helps.